Bereavement, Loss and Life Changes

We all face change at some time, whether it is the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship or redundancy. How we react to change and loss depends upon many different factors. It may be the first time someone close to us has died or perhaps a relationship has ended when we didn't want it to. It takes time to adjust to change and we can experience many different emotions including deep sadness, anger, denial, helplessness and guilt, before hopefully moving on to acceptance of the situation. However, on occasions we can get 'stuck' in one emotional state; finding it impossible to move on. It is at this point that you may need some help to work through your feelings and make some sense of what has happened.

Relationship difficulties

From time to time we all experience difficulties in our relationships, whether it is with partners, family, friends or colleagues. If problems are ignored and not addressed, the relationship may break down irreparably. Knowing how to resolve any problems can be difficult, as the issues are often complex and made more so by our emotional reaction. Lack of communication, being unable to express feelings, being 'stuck' in unhelpful patterns of behaviour or feeling insecure can be major issues within relationships.

Couples counselling

Acknowledging that there are difficulties within your relationship is very hard, but agreeing to seek help to try to resolve the issues shows that you care about the relationship and want to do something about it. Attending counselling with you partner can be even more daunting than starting individual therapy, however it offers the opportunity to explore the issues in a safe, impartial and non-judgemental environment. It is important that both parties are able to have equal time and space to talk about the issues from their own perspective but also have the chance to gain an understanding of their partners views.

Children and young people

Counselling and therapy provides a regular time and space for children and young people to talk about their troubles and explore difficult feelings in an environment that is dependable, free from intrusion and confidential. Having someone who is independent from what is happening in your life can give you the space to express exactly how you feel, without the fear of being judged.

You may come to counselling because of difficult experiences you’ve been going through, such as family relationships, stress leading up to exams, illness or a bereavement. Or you may want help dealing with feelings of sadness, loss of confidence, anxiety or low self-worth that don’t seem to be connected to any particular event. Therapy can help you make sense of your feelings and behaviour.

Childhood at any age is a time of change and new experiences can sometimes cause worry, fears or shyness. Adolescence is a stage that involves the transition from childhood to adulthood, in which considerable physical and mental changes take place. It usually occurs between the ages of 10 and 19 years. As a result of the psychosocial development and increasing maturity, teenagers can feel over-sensitive and lack self-confidence as they come to terms with the changes they are going through. Mood swings and shyness are some of the most common features associated with adolescence. It is a period of vulnerability which requires support and understanding. Teenagers often find their independence by making friends and widening their social circle. As they begin to carve out an identity, they become more susceptible to friends’ influences. In general this is a healthy process that enables the teenager to find a niche outside of the family environment. But occasionally peer pressure may lead to situations that need parental or professional guidance.

Indiividuals in this age group may come to see us for psychotherapy because of difficult experiences they’ve been going through, such as ruptures in family relationships, stress leading up to exams, illness or a bereavement. Or they may want help dealing with feelings of sadness, loss of confidence, anxiety or low self-worth that don’t seem to be connected to any particular event. Therapy can help them make sense of their feelings and behaviour.

Self harm

Self-harm (self-injury) describes a wide range of things people deliberately do to themselves that appear to be harmful but usually do not kill them.

  • Cutting the arms or the back of the legs with a razor or knife
  • Burning
  • Biting
  • Hitting
  • Taking overdoses
  • Trichotillomania (hair pulling)

An adult or young person may self-harm to:

  • Help them cope with negative feelings eg. anger, guilt
  • To feel more in control
  • To punish themselves
  • Relieving overwhelming feelings that build up inside, when they feel isolated, desperate or under pressure

There are many myths surrounding self harming;

  • It is a failed suicide attempt
    Self-harm can be about trying to stay alive – a coping mechanism for survival, and to escape from emotional pain.
  • He / She is telling me the truth
    In an attempt to conceal their behaviour the individual may resort to lies & manipulation.
  • People who seem happy & confident don’t self harm
    Whilst most self harmers tend to be socially withdrawn, this is not necessarily so.
  • It is limited only to socially excluded classes
    It encompasses all social classes and ages.
  • Self-harming behaviour is attention-seeking
    Whether people have deep wounds or slight injuries, the problem they represent should always be taken very seriously. The size of the wound isn't a measure of the size of the conflict inside.

Self Harm Facts

  • The majority are young women, although the percentage of young men seems to be on the increase
  • 3 teenagers self-harm per hour in the UK
  • 10 per cent of 15 to 16 year olds have self-harmed
  • Young people who self-harm are much more likely to have low self-esteem, to be depressed and anxious
  • About 50% of self-harmers start harming at 14

How can we help?

We can help with gaining new perspectives on the issues you face and, where necessary, uncovering and exploring the causes. We can help you to rediscover self belief and increase confidence in your ability to manage change positively; learning more beneficial coping strategies.

Professional Bodies

Complementary & Natural Healthcare Council UK Council for Psychotherapy Hypnotherapy Logo Hypnotherapy Logo Hypnotherapy Directory

Contact Us

Sharon 07754 303987
Stewart 07917 432189

[email protected]